Slclawyer now tell how
to get divorce in Ontario for lifetime. If someone had a switch that would
automatically change someone's mind and heart they would be rich beyond
imagination. Divorces are ugly, nasty things - and that's only if children are
not involved. When you add kids to the mix they become downright scary most of
the time.
If you are reading this article, then you are probably
searching for a way to stop your own divorce. The good news is this: You can
learn how to prevent divorcee MOST of the time. It will take some work on your
part and will go against what you believe to be true about relationships, but
it will be well worth the effort. If you are headed for a divorce, then you
have nothing to lose anyway, right?
Okay, the main concept you need to grasp here is
"control". If you are headed for a divorce that you definitely do not
want, then you are obviously not in control of the situation - your partner is.
Right now you feel like your head (and your world) is
spinning, right? Can't sleep, can't eat, can't think straight, and interested
in nothing? I have been there. I am happy to say that I have been happily
remarried for almost 14 years now, but there was a time that I wouldn't even
get out of bed. That was BEFORE I earned my psychology degree and learned a
little more about human nature.
That brings up the next point. Please assess your marriage
right now before you go any further and make sure you are in a healthy
situation. If not, you need to leave the marriage or get some type of
professional help for the dysfunctional parts. So let's assume you have
examined your marriage and deemed it to be healthy and worth saving. There are
some specific steps you need follow in order to get things going.
1. Make Yourself Busy and Interesting
This is easier than you probably think. Go out with friends,
take up new hobbies, and learn to enjoy your own company. Take yourself to the
movies.....it's fun. All that time you have been spending trying to get your
spouse can be spent improving yourself as a person. Here is where the
psychology comes in. Your spouse wants a new person, right? Well, you can
literally reinvent yourself.
Now, everyone wants what they can't have, so you will become
hard to get. While you are out having a good time, your spouse will be
wondering where you are and what you are doing. (Not to mention who you are
with.) Do not volunteer to tell them all the details either.
Do not call them, follow them, or ask people about them. Go
on with your life and wait for them to come to you. Everyone knows stories
about people who wanted out of a marriage until the other spouse went out and
got a new life. That has a way of snapping people back to their senses when
they see their significant other in a life that doesn't include them. People
rarely take into account how that will make them feel.
2. Be Unavailable
This plays in with Number 1 above. Don't wait around for
their call. You don't want to grab the phone every time they call. Call them
back at your convenience. That means NOT within five minutes of their call to
you. You will be so busy with your new life that this will be no problem. DO
NOT call them unless it is to return their call. When you do talk to them, keep
the conversation short. A few minutes is all you should give it, and always be
the one to get off the phone.
3. Agree That how to Divorce in Ontario Is a Good Thing
You want them to think your life is much better without
them. Now, this does not mean to find other people to rub in their face. That
will backfire 99.9% of the time.
Instead, you want to tell them that after having time to
think, you realize the divorce is the best thing after all. (They will get the
"you don't want ME?" mentality going on.) This is guaranteed to get
them started thinking, and usually makes them wonder if they are making a
mistake. That is the beginning of turning things back in your direction and
giving you back some control.
"But we are not speaking" you say. That's okay.
Send a note. In some ways this is even better because it is so personal (and
they can read it over and over). You want it to be short and simple.
I just wanted to let you know that I have been thinking
things over and you were right. I can see now that a divorce will be the best
for both of us. Now I can see all the opportunities out there for me. I wish
you all the happiness in the world and hope you get everything you want in
life.
Can you see their jaw dropping when they read this note? The
disbelief will set in immediately.
4. Always Keep It Positive
You want to look like the good guy here, so always be
positive. Refuse to argue with your spouse. Don't say negative things about
them to friends or family. Don't do ANYTHING for spite. Remember, if you are in
a bad situation they may up the ante on you and everything can really get ugly.
This would completely defeat your purpose.
5. Keep Kids and Others Out of It
Don't talk to your kids (if you have them) about your spouse
in a negative way. Again, this also goes for friends and family. They may
report everything you say back to your spouse, and even if they don't it will
make you miserable if you get reports on your spouse that you don't want to
hear.
Be sure not to use the kids (or anyone else) as a weapon
against your spouse. That hurts innocent people. I know many people who were
used as pawns by their parents who really resent those parents now. Just don't
do it.
I know this a lot to take in when you are miserable and
scared, but these things can be done in a way that will bring your spouse back
to you. This will probably start them thinking and reassessing the direction
they are going. Then they will most likely want to talk to you about the
situation. After this, you will need to continue playing it cool and not
immediately jump back into their arms. Let them date you and SLOWLY cultivate a
new relationship. You want them to be invested in you again.
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